How To Let Go Of Fear

Are there times that you feel weighed down by stress or, worse, paralyzed by fear? 

Every conscious leader experiences periods of worry, stress, and even fear. As difficult as it can be, part of conscious growth is coming to grips with emotions that feel crippling and stifling. 

But consider this: fear isn't in and of itself negative. After all, we're designed to feel afraid at times – so fear must have evolved to teach us something, right? For millennia, fear has been an emotion that protected our species from everything from predatory animals to falling off steep cliffs. 

But what can get us into trouble as modern conscious leaders is that our bodies and minds can't tell the difference between real fears – the fear of getting too close to the edge of a building, the fear of the poisonous spider on the back porch (ewww) – and our fears of things we imagine might happen. 

Those "mights" can feel pretty mighty!

My paycheck might bounce. My boss might tell me I'm fired. My partner might leave me. My team might think I'm a phony. 

We are powerful beings – and our imaginations, while they can be powerfully creative, can also be powerfully destructive when we channel them towards our worries about what might happen. 

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself the next time you feel stuck in a place of worry or fear. 

Is this actually happening now?

Our fears can feel so real that we can fool ourselves into forgetting what is real and what isn't.

For example, the fear that you might lose your job isn't the same as being fired. Rephrase your fears by affirming what is true right now: "Right now, I am employed in a good job." Similarly, the fear that you will perform poorly on a work assignment isn't the same as actually performing poorly. A good rephrase might be, "Right now, I am preparing for my assignment the best I can."

Can I make a case for the contrary? 

We've noticed that most leaders are great about thinking through possible negative outcomes – but pretty unpracticed at thinking through the possible positive ones. Is it any wonder we succumb to fear when we haven't practiced positivity?

When you find yourself going down a road of worry, consciously practice imagining at least one counter-possibility. For example, when you worry your team may not follow your new plan, practice imagining that your team greets your new plan with praise. It's incredible to notice how often many of us unconsciously "practice" worry -- so consciously practice positivity, too. 

What am I grateful for right now?

As we've shared before, gratitude is one of the conscious leader's superpowers. Focus your attention on what you have, not what you lack; what you have created, not what you have lost. It's an amazing boost. 

At the end of the day, worry, stress, and fear aren't a sign you are broken. They are a sign you are human! Conscious leadership isn't about pushing fear down, controlling it, or overpowering it. Conscious leadership is about seeing fear for what it is so you can simply let it go. 

Give it a try!